A SIMPLE HOW TO
By: Miley Hart | Feb, 14th 2015
Love is a beautiful thing. Often, as humans, we are faced with the burden of a longing to be completed by another, ultimately finding comfort in knowing what it is like to be loved. It's easy to be blinded while looking so far into the future and haze of desires, consequently overlooking what's right in front of you. You don't have to look far past the tip of your nose to find love. It is said that true beauty comes from the inside; however, that kind of true beauty that shines through comes from self-love.
Why is it so difficult to love oneself? We now live in a world where it is nearly impossible to live up to the standards set by the media and social networking. Whether it is a well-funded campaign or a new trend taking over your timelines, it’s hard to keep constant comparisons on the backburner. Self-worth has quickly begun to be defined by followers, likes, friends, and even incoming messages and calls. Recognition defines our relevance. If we aren't talking, being talked to, or being talked about, do we really matter? Better yet, are we really heard? There's no doubt that these things make us feel good, but are they really sufficient at fulfilling and sustaining true happiness? Happiness, beauty, and love are more powerful than sight. When your screen turns black can you still see these traits within yourself?
Beginning to fall in love with yourself is a simple as the five senses you were born with, starting with sight. Take the time to really look at yourself, but do so with an open mind and heart. Both love and judgment start within you. Don't just glance over your imperfections, but don't take extra time to dwell on them. If you never take time to face yourself because you get overwhelmed by imperfections instead look at them as challenges to overcome. There are and always will be things we don't like about ourselves, that we may be incapable of changing, and to those parts of us about which it is time to say “Cheers!” and embrace them. The idea of perfection leads to conforming to preset standards. Break the mold! You have the executive power over how others portray you, and it starts with not only how you see yourself but how you speak and present yourself to others.
Sound is extremely important because it is one of the most convincing of all of our senses. There is no denying that it's easier to believe something when you see it, but when it comes to love it’s not always something you can simply see. Love, like sound, is a vibration, a wave of energy or presence. Self-love makes a much more powerful statement when heard. When you talk about yourself you set the standards for how you are seen. If you consistently joke about how ugly, lame, awkward, or fill in the blank _____ you are, then you give people the power to talk down about you to your face. When you take the time to reflect remember to take the time to vocalize all of the things to celebrate the positive. Don't sell yourself short by forgetting praise and recognize the little things. Even when you feel like your world is falling apart around you remember: You have a better balance on your shoulders and vision for looking forward when you keep your chin up.
Taste, smell, and touch are senses to help promote and inspire a better understanding of love. When we indulge in these senses, we get a chance to plant and tap into the roots of our happiness. Surround yourself with flavors, scents, and textures that instantly put a smile on the faces of the blood cells dancing in your veins. If the people around you aren't taking the time to appreciate you the way you'd like to be, become your own best friend for a day. Don't confuse independence with loneliness, take pride in going out on your own. There is no need to feel required to let the world know when, where, and how you are doing you. It can be fun having a secret fling with yourself, and there is a comfort in not having the pressure of letting anyone down while you lift yourself up. Take advantage of these senses by using them to make yourself look and feel better from the inside out. It’s life to fall hard from every direction and have your bum handed to you on a platter at the bottom. It is a waste to sacrifice time waiting and wallowing in negativity. When you live because you love yourself you will find a strength that will push you forward when you weren't even sure that you could stand. Set small realistic daily goals and acknowledge a bit of victory when you complete them. It is surprising how quickly and easily you can please yourself when you follow through on your own commitments. It’s ok to look at yourself with admiration while learning about, finding, and understanding your self-worth.
When you learn to love yourself, you begin to learn who you really are -- good and bad. You begin to understand the strength in your weaknesses and the weak points in your strengths. Use that understanding to appreciate the value of your life. You define your own worth. Don’t continue wasting your time by putting your happiness in anyone else's hands. When you love yourself, you realize that having others to share love with shouldn't make you happy; it should make you happier. One must first know how to accept love before one can really share it. Love shouldn't be a job or an unwanted obligation. It is a passionate fire that provides a light in our darkest times. One that we must fuel on our own when we don't have someone to put a log down for us. We don't always have a hand to hold while we walk through the unknown and that's when loving yourself can save your life. Never underestimate yourself or your ability to endure.
As a child my mother always said "love wasn't put in your heart to stay, love isn't love until you give it away." This phrase always reminded me to keep my heart open, but thinking deeper into it, it’s easy to realize how regenerative love truly is. It is vital to find and take care of the love you already have within yourself. If you don't nurture the love inside, you will exhaust yourself stripping your heart only to find that you are passing out a tainted in genuine version of the love you can offer. Regardless of what kind of love you think you need or deserve, it is important to remember that self-love will create a strong foundation to help hold and build any of your dreams on top of. Love isn't easy to explain, but it is easy to feel and find when you look in the right places.
From the start you were born into a relationship that you are bound to you for as long as you live: It’s a relationship with yourself, one that isn't something you can avoid, but you can avoid being constantly disappointed by others. Smile, get dressed up, and treat yourself more often. There isn't much room for control in love but you have plenty of control over how you how much you love yourself. Self-love brings light, happiness, energy and respect to a person's character. Each day brings a new chance for a new story. Allow love to rise to the surface and use it as ink to reshape build define and strengthen the leading character of your story.